A fish scale got stuck in my throat while I was having lunch with dad last saturday.
I literally panicked and thought I was going to suffocate, and die. But that wasn’t the case, I’m still alive and kicking, a little sleep deprived but I have come to the conclusion that my mind gets stimulated more when I’m lack of sleep. My thoughts tend to wonder around, wedging into tiny holes, diving into empty pools, swimming in your coffee, underneath your fingernails, inside your avocado sandwich. Everywhere possible really.
Beach House is echoing in my ear drums, my ability to focus and write about one particular matter is almost non-existent, just like my sanity which I am pretty sure someone flushed down the toilet. My brain’s scattered, my mood swings are so severe, one minute I’m on top of the world and the next I’m crying my eyes out. And no, I do not need to see a shrink, that’s certainly unnecessary cause ice cream solves everything, so does Abigail. And I have also come to a sudden realization that I have attached myself to a lot of things recently. A lot of materialistic things and I for one should be well aware of the fact that nothing is truly permanent is this wicked world. Nothing lasts. Things come and go. and being attached to these ‘things’ is only going to engender a certain type of fear, a fear of letting go into the presence of the unknown and even worse, feeling incomplete without it. That’s why its essential to recognize the radical impermanence of life in this world of constant change. Change, change is inevitable, but so is the force to fight it. u know, just like how I cant fucking seem to stop thinking about you every ticking second, and the more I try not to, the more I do. Sigh.
I literally panicked and thought I was going to suffocate, and die. But that wasn’t the case, I’m still alive and kicking, a little sleep deprived but I have come to the conclusion that my mind gets stimulated more when I’m lack of sleep. My thoughts tend to wonder around, wedging into tiny holes, diving into empty pools, swimming in your coffee, underneath your fingernails, inside your avocado sandwich. Everywhere possible really.
Beach House is echoing in my ear drums, my ability to focus and write about one particular matter is almost non-existent, just like my sanity which I am pretty sure someone flushed down the toilet. My brain’s scattered, my mood swings are so severe, one minute I’m on top of the world and the next I’m crying my eyes out. And no, I do not need to see a shrink, that’s certainly unnecessary cause ice cream solves everything, so does Abigail. And I have also come to a sudden realization that I have attached myself to a lot of things recently. A lot of materialistic things and I for one should be well aware of the fact that nothing is truly permanent is this wicked world. Nothing lasts. Things come and go. and being attached to these ‘things’ is only going to engender a certain type of fear, a fear of letting go into the presence of the unknown and even worse, feeling incomplete without it. That’s why its essential to recognize the radical impermanence of life in this world of constant change. Change, change is inevitable, but so is the force to fight it. u know, just like how I cant fucking seem to stop thinking about you every ticking second, and the more I try not to, the more I do. Sigh.
anywayzies, watch this. a gila song, a gila video, just for the gila ;
for some reason they disabled embedding so yeah just click on the fucking url. seriously, click.
No comments:
Post a Comment