day 4 - still a total wreck. the weather is being so unkind and the loneliness is unbearable. nothing excites me, nothing impresses me, nothing inspires me, nothing makes me laugh, nothing triggers my curiousity. everything is just so gray. and sleep is the only escape i have from this incredible bareness that circulates in me like a parasite. waking up is the hardest thing to do these few days. i am at my most fragile state and it almost feels like i am about to break at any moment. im standing on such a delicate balance.
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